The Aussie “slice” is the lowest common denominator of cooking. Basic, ugly and entirely void of class it’s a “dessert”, or a black hole of effort, that exists only to be ridiculed (unless legitimately prepared by a legitimately busy parent… maybe). The butt of all my culinary jokes, the humble sloice is an atrocity that should be thrown into the bin or into the ocean or into a bin in the ocean.
This being said, my mum, a tremendous cook, occasionally made Mars Bar slice when I was younger and at 26 and child-less I thought it was as good a time as any to show my friends how much I truly care about them by serving an effortless (not a compliment) yet entirely iconic slab of chocolate and butter. I love you, guys.
And speaking of things I don’t enjoy (slices, not my friends), can we stop with the Christmas-in-Winter paraphernalia? Each and every one of my senses has been clogged with snowing icing sugar on cakes (no), cinnamon in everything (nope) and Santa hats because clearly we require extra warmth this time of year. I’m entirely guilty of this in my debut year as a WordPress-wielder but I’ve since moved on. Incorrect seasonal recipes deserve a swift kick into the appropriate hemisphere because this is Australia and all good Australians should respect their country by making a hideous slice at least once in their lives rather than preparing Winter desserts in Summer and anointing them with currants and fake reindeer. Put a mango on it or something.
I used a recipe from Best Recipes; it sucked when out of the fridge for a little while so try using less butter if you wanna give it a red hot go. Embrace the culinary filth, showcase your lack of finesse by doing a terrible job of cutting it into neat squares, stack them in a little tupperware box and take to a picnic to share around. Enjoy the warm embrace of cheap, melted chocolate in and around your mouth and all over your fingers. I dare you. It’s the easiest way to enjoy a genuine slice of Australiana. It’s gross but it’s the best… somehow.
Mars Bar Slice (from Best Recipes)
3 x 72g Mars Bars
90g salted butter
3 cups Rice Bubbles
200g milk chocolate
1. Line a tin, or your best Bessemer, with baking paper.
2. Melt Mars Bars and butter in the microwave, stir until smooth (the nougat part of the Mars Bars probably won’t budge though). Pour over the Rice Bubbles in a heat-proof bowl and combine until evenly distributed and the cereal covered. Pour into lined tin and press down until even (a potato masher works a treat for this).
3. Melt chocolate in microwave and pour over flattened Rice Bubble mixture. Smooth out and place in fridge for a few hours until firm enough to slice into awkward squares.